A love inventory is the hardest work I’ve ever done. It took me more than two years, first to read my diaries to figure out who I had been in love with, then to find contact information to those men. No one had internet in 1993-94 so I had to go back to old friends from childhood and their parents to find them. Then it took me another year to dare to contact these men and visit them. Since I had been secretely in love with everyone until I was 15 years old, it was very embarrassing to call and tell them. Many times I dialled the number, waited 5 seconds and then hang up before someone answered. I was also very nervous when I met them for an interview. I would never be able to do this kind of work today. I have great respect for myself, at that time in my twenties. I suffered from a constantly broken heart those years and wanted to analyze what went wrong, but I’m sorry to say I didn’t find out. Love is still a mystery.
